Review goals, expectations for high school

Now is a great time to review your goals and expectations for your teen. Discuss how school is going so far and talk with your teen about setting new goals.

Ask:

· "How do you think you're doing in your classes?" If she's struggling, what can she do to get back on track?

· "What activities do you want to pursue--in school and beyond?" What can she do now to get on the right path?

· "How is your life outside of school?" Is she happy with how she spends her free time?

Listen to your teen's answers and then, be sure to:

· Keep expectations high. Let your teen know that you expect her to do her best.

· Stay realistic. Students can be strong in some subjects, but not others. It may not be appropriate to expect your teen to raise a grade to an A.

· Offer your support. Let your teen know you believe in her, and want to help her reach her goals.

Reprinted with permission from the October 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (High School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2009 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Peter Benson and others, What Teens Need to Succeed, ISBN: 1-57542-027-9 (Free Spirit Publishing, www.freespirit.com).

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Parent Quiz

Are you helping your distracted teen stay focused?

Teens today face all sorts of distractions. They try to watch TV, send text messages to their friends, and listen to music--all while studying for tomorrow's history exam. Are you doing what you can to help your teen concentrate? Answer yes or no to the questions below to find out:

___1. Do you make family dinners and study time distraction-free? No Facebook or text messaging!

___2. Do you provide as much structure as possible in your home life?

___3. Do you encourage your teen to think before he makes a decision? He can write pluses and minuses for each option.

___4. Have you suggested your teen sit in the front of the class so it's easier to block out distractions from other students?

___5. Does your teen have a planner to write down all assignments?

How well are you doing?

Each yes means you're helping your teen stay focused on what's really important. For no answers, try those ideas from the quiz.

Building Responsibility

Help your teen learn to keep promises, honor commitments

A huge part of being responsible is actually doing what you say you're going to do. To effectively do that for others, kids first have to learn to do it for themselves.

Here are some things your teen can do to help her keep the promises she makes to herself. Have your teen:

· Do what she's been putting off. Not everything, just one thing. She should write down one thing that's been on her to-do list for at least a week and do it today. It may be finishing a rough draft for a paper, picking up the clothes on the floor of her closet or writing and sending a thank-you note for a present.

· Take one step toward a healthier lifestyle. The key is to pick one thing. Your teen may say she will get up early, have a healthy breakfast, exercise for an hour and skip snacks at school. Well, that would be great. But not so realistic. Encourage her to just start with the healthy breakfast and make it a habit first.

Be a good role model for your teen and keep a few of the promises you have made to yourself, too.

Reprinted with permission from the October 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (High School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2009 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Sean Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, ISBN: 0-684-85609-3 (Fireside, www.simonandschuster.com).

Q: How can I tell if my son has a drinking problem? He stopped spending time with his old friends and now hangs around with an older crowd. They are poor students, and I suspect they drink.

I work during the day, but lately I have the feeling that he and his friends may be in the house during school hours when I'm away. His grades are dropping and he doesn't want to go to school in the morning.

A: Your instincts are probably right. The description of your son includes many of the warning signs that he may in fact have a problem with alcohol or drugs. In order to know for sure, you can:

· Talk with your son. Be sure he knows that drug and alcohol use are unacceptable in your family. Help him see that continuing to use alcohol or drugs will prevent him from achieving his goals--whether they are to go to college, join the military or get a good job.

· Supervise him more closely. Insist that he tell you where he's going and who he'll be with. Don't be afraid to tell him he can't associate with certain kids.

· Talk to your neighbors if you can't be home during the day. Ask them to contact you if they ever see your teen at home when he should be at school.

· Talk to the school. Ask them to call you at work (so you are sure to get the message) if your son skips class.

· Consider getting help for yourself. Groups like Al-Anon can help you learn ways to deal with your son's alcohol problems.

--Kristen Amundson, The Parent Institute. Reprinted with permission from the October 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (High School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2009 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc.