Attendance is the key to school success

School success is impossible without one factor: attendance. Your teen's attendance is the single most important element for school success, this year and every year.

Research shows how important attendance really is. In one study, 75 percent of students who missed school regularly did not earn a high school diploma. That means a teen who is frequently absent only has a 25 percent chance of graduating.

So this year, make attendance your entire family's priority:

· Never let your teen stay home to miss a big test or to rest up for a big game.

· Don't use your teen as backup child care. Make other plans before your younger children get sick.

· Don't make it a treat to stay home. Any teen who is too sick to go to school is also too sick to watch TV, play video games or use the computer.

· Don't schedule appointments during school hours.

.Building Respect

Talk with your teen about the importance of respect

People assume that teens will be disrespectful, and then--surprise--they often are. Instead of reprimanding your teen for being disrespectful, have an open discussion about respect. Try to:

· Talk about respect. What does showing respect look like? What words would she use to define respect? How does showing respect in person differ from showing it over the Internet or a text message? Should there be a difference?

· Talk about disrespect. How do people show that they disrespect teens? How do teens show that they disrespect others? Has your teen ever felt disrespected--by another teen, by another adult or even by you? How does she think others feel when she disrespects them?

· Talk about the importance of showing respect at school. Your teen can show respect to the teacher in simple ways--like coming to class prepared and on time. Your teen can show respect to her classmates by working quietly. And your teen can show respect to the other staff by following school rules and using good manners.

By demonstrating respect, your teen is more likely to receive it in return.

Q: My son went to a very small private school until this year. Now he will be a ninth grader at a large high school. He had friends at his old school, but he knows only a few students at the new school. He doesn't say much, but I know he's unhappy. What can I do to help him make the transition successfully?

A: Starting at any new school is a challenge. So even the students who have known each other for years are going to be feeling anxious! You can:

· Meet with his counselor if you haven't already. Find out if there are clubs or activities your son can join. Kids who share his interests are likely to want to be his friend.

· Give him opportunities to feel in control. Let him decide what to wear--he needs to fit in. So even if it's not what you'd choose, as long as it is appropriate, allow him to make the choice.

· Be sure he completes school work. Falling behind in any class will just add more stress, and he doesn't need that.

· Be supportive. Spend one-on-one time with your son. He's more likely to open up if you're doing something together than if you say, "Let's talk."

· Stay positive. Remind your son that he made friends at his old school, and he will find friends at this school, as well. So he should take his time and look for people he would like to spend time with--they're around.

--Kristen Amundson, The Parent Institute. Reprinted with permission from the September 2010 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (High School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2010 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc.

Make your expectations clear at the start of the school year

High school matters. The grades your teen receives can affect everything from how much you'll pay for car insurance to whether she can play sports in college. So it's important to give your teen a solid foundation.

Research from the Harvard Family Research Project shows that there is one thing every parent can do: expect a lot. When you expect that your teen can do well in high school, she picks that up. As a result, she also starts believing that she can do well.

That means she spends more time doing homework. The result, of course, is that she does better in school.

Here are three things you should do every day:

1. Talk with your teen about school. Tell her you want her to do her best each day. Your teen may not be at the top of her class--but she can always do her personal best.

2. Talk about next steps. Help her see the link between good grades and success in her future career.

3. Emphasize effort. When your teen is feeling like she can't do her math or her English report, encourage her not to quit. Teens need to learn to stick with a tough task even if it's a bit of a challenge.

Reprinted with permission from the September 2010 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (High School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2010 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: E. Patrikakou, "Adolescence: Are Parents Relevant to Students' High School Achievement and Post-Secondary Attainment?" Harvard Family Research Project, www.hfrp.org/publications-resources/browse-our-publications/adolescence-are-parents-relevant-to-students-high-school-achievement-and-post-secondary-attainment.